(Originally written for BroBible)
In my 23 years
maintaining homeostasis, I’ve received my fair share of insults. I’ve been labeled
a geek, nerd, tool, goober, retard, herb, loser, lame, poser, asshole, douche,
pussy, schmuck, homo, fag, cock goblin, sphincter troll, grundle gremlin, dirty
Jew, JAP, Christ-killer, lamp shade, oven magnet, Kikey McPassoverpants, squid,
hardo, GDI, and many more.
While I’ve taken
all these epithets in more strides than Usain Bolt, one diss has tortured my
soul for far too long:
I hate being
called a “hater”.
“Hater” is the pervasive
pejorative spouted by reality stars, rappers, athletes and a majority of bros
against anyone who disapproves of their oft-questionable behavior. It’s a
security blanket; shielding one from criticism, disapproval and sometimes, rehab.
It’s the enemy of improvement and the cousin of YOLO. When you are labeled a hater, you’re being admonished for
having an opinion.
To quote Chicago
rhyme-spitter and silly cap-wearer Common, “If I don't
like it, I don't like it, that don't mean that I'm hating”. If I
think LeBron is a dick because he makes patronizing comments about the fans,
why can’t I say so? If I believe the only talent Kim Kardashian has is fucking
on camera, isn’t that my prerogative? Telling my little cousin that his Dubstep-experimental
Jazz band could use a little work should not make me a social pariah. My
parents inculcated me with a strong sense of right and wrong, good and evil,
chill and douchey. It’s no secret that we live in a society where it has become
increasingly uncouth to voice condemnation for fear of hurting someone’s
feelings. I submit that without a little ego bruising, we’ll become
increasingly tolerant of bad art, political injustice, and toolboxes
Instagramming pictures of themselves poppin’ bottles on private jets. I’m not a
hater bro, I just think it’s a little pretentious when there are people
starving in the streets.
Of course,
I’d be remiss to ignore the fact that there are plenty of people who hate for
the sake of hating. Just check the
comments section this post. There will always be irrelevant, venom-spewing
trollers. There will always be popular opinion-bashing contrarians. Some people
do it as a means of self-elevation; y’know, the hipster who is eager to inform
you he liked (fill in popular band name here) before they blew up? Others hate
as a way to help them forget about their own faults. Jealousy, insecurity, and racism
are often the catalysts for unwarranted criticism. I’m not defending that kind of irrational animosity.
I am
however, championing those who aren’t afraid to tell it how it is, when others
tell it how it might be. Ignoring another’s viewpoint by writing him off as a
hater is not an effective cure-all for your conscience. Typically, the people
who drop the h-bomb the most are those who commit the most injustices.
That about
wraps it up for me. If you didn’t like this post, you’re probably a hater. Join
me next week, where I crusade against the people who “rage tits”.

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