The last time I wrote an Everyday Annoyance, Charlie Sheen was famous for a being an actor and Japan was above water. Hi-yo!
Okay, so, amidst the plethora of minor social infractions that stick in my craw lies "The Half-Smile".
Oh, Half-Smile, how I hate thy prevalence.
I'd argue most people, myself included, are subject to or are bearers of this pseudo-smile at least three times a week.
We've all seen it.
It's that partial grimace you exhibit when you're confronted on campus by that girl you use to sit
behind in Intro to Jazz.You neither know her name nor have something to say, so you pay her the ultimate compliment; curling your bottom lip inward while simultaneously raising your eyebrows.
It's the same contrived expression you have received from the hot girl behind the counter at Urban Outfitters, half-welcoming you to acquire her services, not because she wants you too, but because it's a necessary condition of her job description.
Ever place an order with a waiter, then afterwards go to wash your hands in the bathroom and walk past him elsewhere? I bet you've doled out a halfy in his general direction.
WHAT KIND OF TIGHT-ASS, AWKWARD SOCIETY DO WE WE LIVE IN WHERE SHOWING SOME FUCKING TEETH OR SAYING "HEY, HOW ARE YOU?" IS JUST GOING TOO FAR?
If someone shoots you a halfy you can be sure of two things:
1. You will never have sex with this person
2. Your presence has made her so uncomfortable that her only defense to form some kind of alien, "Oops, it appears I have just shit my pants" visage.
Next person that half-smiles at me, I'm fully smacking in the teeth.
That about sums up my revulsion of the.....Oh shit..here she comes ...fuck I don't even know her name...she was friends with Whats-Her-Cunt that I was trying to spit game to outside Barracuda's last Tuesday...ugh and she introduced herself too...oh well...let me throw one of these her way: