Last night I attended a pregame at my buddy Harris' apartment.
Ping Pong Balls ricocheting off red Solo cups, plastic shot glasses being slammed in agreement after speeches are made about getting more pussy this year, ESPN on in the background in case one doesn't know how to talk to girls, you know the deal.
Pretty standard. Except one thing irked me.
The music being played sounded like a goose attempting to fuck an Atari 2600 Machine.
I despise techno, I hate house, and I certainly don't do "dubstep" (whatever the fuck that is).
Yet it has increasingly become a mainstay at clubs, in cars, and most painfully for me, at the time-honored pregame.
I eloquently asked to no one in particular, "WHEN DID THIS FAGGOT ASTRONAUT MUSIC BECOME COOL?" but was only met with awkward stares and another shot of Captain.
I remember in 7th grade I was particularly into music. During the Bar/Bat-Mitzvah season of 2002, we were exposed to more music and dancing than any modern Miami coke monkey.
One Friday night our schedule was free from Bar/Bat attendance, So I had my Dad drop me off at this girl Lindsey's house, in an attempt to seal the deal that was made on the dance floor at Jenna Nortman's Bat-Mitzvah the previous weekend.
The deal to score some pre-pubescent ass.
She put on a CD and We did some heavy petting on her canopy covered bed. After hearing enough of these great songs I pulled away, looked in her eyes and said:
"Lindsey...Do you want to get to third (base)?"
She respectfully declined. Here are some songs that made me want to get to third. Ahh, memories.