As the Summer 2010 NYC Nightclub/Hamptons/Internship season draws near, I fondly recalled last summer. I worked in Manhattan, vacationed in Westhampton Beach, and fucked like a bunny in both.
I recall a particular dinner at the start of last year's summer. A pack of girlfriends (friends who are girls) invited my friend CJ and I to a trendy Sex in the City-style birthday dinner, complete with overpriced Asian fusion and colorful cocktails.
Imagine my apprehension.
I prefer Blowjobs in the Suburbs.
However, the dinner went quite well. I was like the moderator on the Jappy View.
We gossiped, reminiscenced, I tried to kiss my friend Cassidy on the mouth...shit was fun.
Until, naturally, I brought the good spirits to a screeching halt.
I was staring at my friend Tracey's breasts, until I noticed her t-shirt.
Me: Tracey...What's on your shirt?
Tracey: What do you mean, it's Mickey Mouse.
Me: Why is Mickey Mouse dressed as Hitler?
Conversation stopped. Everyone turned to Tracey's tee, and there it was-
A SMILING MICKEY MOUSE, COMPLETE WITH A HITLER MUSTACHE, BEHIND HIS HEAD WAS A SWASTIKA.
Tracey: No he's not, what are you talking about, Evan?
Me: I mean that is clearly Mickey Mouse, with a Swastika, dressed as Hitler.
Tracey looking down to examine her garment.
Her mouth agape, she let out a whimper, "Oh..my..God"
Immediately, the rest of the Real Housewives of Long Island attempted to console her.
"I don't see it, Tray"
"Yea, it's just Mickey Mouse, what is he talking about?"
Cassidy gritted her teeth
"I see it"
One girl erupted in anger
"WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO DO SHIT LIKE THIS, EVAN?!?"
I fired back
"WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO WEAR A HITLER T-SHIRT, I MEAN WHEN I BUY A SHIRT, I KNOW IF HITLER IS ON IT, OR HE'S NOT"
The rest of the dinner was a bit uncomfortable.
My guess is that some super-progressive artist tried to make a statement about Disney's alleged fascist policies or some bullshit and then put it on a shirt and sold it for lots of monies.
Tracey then saw it being sold in a trendy store, thought "Mickey is cute", and bought it.
Sadly, I've seen another girl wear this offending article on Facebook.
Needless to say, I've patented the Care Bears Going to the Gas Chamber design. :)