FUCK YEAAAAA BRO! THROWIN’ DOWN FRESHMEN-FILLED HOUSE PARTIES! WATCHIN‘ THE BIG GAME ON THE FLAT SCREEN! CHOOSING TASTEFUL DRAPES THAT DON’T CLASH WITH ARMOIRES!
Unfortunately, We discovered that searching for the perfect Miami Brome (bro-home, duh) can get hairier than Zach Galifnakis’s pubes. So I reflected on yesteryear.
One day last March, I stopped trying to guess Brazzer passwords long enough to check my Facebook. My boy Ryan Atlas had posted someone attractive apartment listings on his wall. What I saw was far more intriguing than the one-minute previews of MILF’s Like It Big.
So I hit up Ryan and he pointed me towards Foster & Clark, a real estate company located minutes away from campus in Sunset. It was there that I met head broker Rafael Rodriguez.
After admiring his coif of black hair, Raf helped me put together a great lease on my dream apartment. Plus he drove a Range Rover, so I knew he was well equipped to accommodate even the shallowest requests of UM’s student body. MOEN FAUCETS, BIAAATCH!
This year I turn again to Foster & Clark in hopes of tracking down my 2010 Man-Cave. Upon my reconnection with fast talking guru of off-campus housing, Ralph has informed me about the creation of Foster & Clark’s “Off-Campus Housing Division” headed by recent UM grad Brett Firestone (same surname as the chubby guy with the Coogi cap who stands outside of Mansion, but far more professional)
Ooo...Automation.
Brett and the off-campus housing division have access to the best rentals homes, town homes, and apartments in the area. Plus, I was delighted to find that Rafael, Firestone, and Co. have put together a slick website, where finding an optimal listing is easy. These guys just get it and make the process of finding off-campus housing smooth.
Yes, you too can say cool things like “my broker is looking into it” by peeping the Foster & Clark site or hit up Brett Firestone directly at 305-213-9012. Tell’em KRUMLIFE’s shameless plug sent ya!
