7.05.2010

Ridiculous comments overheard in The Hamptons #1




Can you think of a better place to hear them?
Okay maybe Tiger Woods' BlackBerry inbox, but besides that?

I think not.

So let this tale serve as a snippet of my July 4th.

Nothing declares patriotism like stumbling around a multimillion dollar beachfront estate amidst 300+ narcissistic social climbers in a Champagne and Zoloft-induced haze.

Fuck me, right?

Well during my mystical journey, I overheard the kind of classic one-upsmanship that fuels my desire to pound these keys in disgust and share my tales; in order to educate and instigate, of course.

We're all familiar with the notorious bullshit artist:

"My family friend owns the patent to CO2"

"This party sucks compared to the rager at Joey Chestnut's last night"

Things of that nature. But the conversation I heard was particularly delicious in it's audacity . I went outside to fight panic attack onset when I was privy to this:

Douche 1: Yo, you know the band AC/DC?

Douche 2: Yea, totally, I heard a sick remix of them at TenJune

Douche 1: You know how it's two guys right, AC and DC?

Douche 2: Yeah...

Douche 1:
Well last night I was at my boy's loft party, and he's very good family friends with them and they were there, and I SMOKED A BLUNT WITH AC, YO!!

Douche 2: THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME!!

Douche 1: Yahh...you got any blow?

Suddenly my blurred vision and heavy breathing dissipated, and I felt bad about the vicious lies being spread about Brian, Malcolm, Phil, Cliff and Angus; the five members of AC/DC

2 comments:

  1. back in my day i used to blow lines with aero but smith didn't join.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey Hymie, Westhampton and Hampton Bays Aren't, "The Hamptons" They're more like Brooklyn

    ReplyDelete