Excerpt from a recent family meal

My parents and I are naively attempting to expand our cultural horizons by engaging in a meal at a lovely Peruvian restaurant.

It is dimly lit, sparsely decorated and packed to the gills with fast-speaking South Americans who, conversely, probably wouldn't deem themselves worldly if they ate our fare- Ben's Deli and what have you.

Most entrees have indecipherable names and contain squid ink as source of flavor.

My father and I begin to give up on the alien menus.

So, naturally the conversation turns to "Who's a bigger pussy?"

Me: You're definitely the bigger pussy.

Dad: You think so, but in fact, I believe you are.

Me: Elaborate.

Dad: Well, you talk a lot more shit, but in reality, you're not a confrontative person. So when you put yourself in that position, you begin to freak out because you know deep down you don't wanna be in that position to fight. I know it's not in my nature to fight, so I never put myself in that position.

Me:...................What about doggy style, what about that position?

Dad: *takes a sip of wine* Well, I never have problem with that position.

*We high five*

Mom: What?

Fin!