(at Sam Goody store..late 2000)
my Dad: Evan, it's enough, no more of this shit.
*he puts the CD back in the holding rack*
Me: DAD WHAT THE FUCK? YOU'RE BEING A FUCKING NAZI, I'M GONNA LOVE ICP FOREVER!!
We all go through fads.
We don't all become obsessed with psychopathic wicked clowns who rap about murder and necrophilia.......that's having sex with dead people for you commoners.
For the better part of 6th grade, I was a full-fledged Juggalo.
A Juggalo is defined as a fan and follower of the Insane Clown Posse, a horrorcore rap duo who paint their faces and spray gallons of Faygo brand soda on said Juggalos at concerts.
ICP sprays Loyal Juggalos with Faygo like so much frothy ejaculate.
In actuality, it's a suburban white youth who is probably unathletic and unpopular (and in my case, too young to jerk off to relieve the tension of said stresses) so he turns to the music of the Wicked Clowns who always sympathize with the typical mall wanderer (Roosevelt Field in my case)...as long as the Juggalo is running to Sam Goody; well I guess now Best Buy, to cop the next album.
HERE'S THE DEAL:
EACH ICP ALBUM WAS CALLED A "JOKER'S CARD"
EACH JOKER'S CARD DESCRIBED A DIFFERENT CHARACTER AND HOW HE WILL PUNISH THE WRONGDOINGS OF SOCIETY.
IN EVERY CD BOOKLET IT READ THAT AFTER
"THE SIXTH JOKERS CARD IS REVEALED THE END WILL CONSUME US ALL"
Each one of these "cards" costed 20 bucks and tormented my parents. Oh, how they prayed for me to like wholesome Limp Bizkit!
To an 11 year old, this was pretty fuckin intense.
I would spend hours on the net(as we called it back then) researching and speculating what would happen when the Sixth dropped and the Dark Carnival came to town.
Other internet Juggalos hypothesized of the messiah arriving
or a joint suicide pact of the Clowns or
a massive mobile concert swallowing everyone was caught in the storm of blood and Faygo root beer.
KEEP IN MIND MOST ICP FANS WERE LIKE, 10 YEARS OLDER THAN ME. WHAT THE FUCK.
I bought the 5 Joker's Cards that were out, countless t-shirts, fucking ICP BEANIE BABIES!!
This whirlwind of death music and face painting would soon lead to a transformation far greater than any 6th Joker's Card could do.
PART 2 COMING SOON
I-C-FUCKIN P! JUGGALO HATCHET WARRIORS! WHOO WHOOP
