The 20 Foot Acknowledgement
You're walking to class. The condom that is your friends or a phone call from your Dad asking about recent credit card purchases is absent. You're raw-dogging it to the Business school and dead ahead saunters:
that kid who you are not friends with, yet not completely alien to that you can breeze by him with ease. He may even be a friend of a friend or the right hand man of the tool you got into a fight with last week at the bar because he claimed his frat was in fact, superior to your's.
Regardless he is not one of your kind, certainly not in the realm of a possible stop n chat.
Yet you know him. He knows you know him. And He knows you know you know him. So Knowsy.
Because of this, it is clear he must be dealt with, acknowledged somehow. Deciding how to is not the issue.
We have much larger problems at hand...or at feet rather:
HE IS TWENTY FEET AWAY.
THIS IS THE SINGLE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT IN ONE'S LIFE
Those 15 seconds seem to transcend the laws of physics and turn your steps to hot maple syrup movements...in other words...slow as fuck...
The problem is you can't give the head nod until your right next to the person, it's almost like holding back a slingshot til the last second... that's just the law of proper isolated campus walking.
SO YOU PUT YOUR HEAD DOWN AND SCROLL THROUGH YOUR PHONE A MILLISECOND BEFORE COLLISION, YOUR EYES MEET FOR A MOMENT
and it's over....
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! FUCK! I HATE IT! IT LEAVES MY VISCERAL ORGANS WRAPPED IN A CHINESE STAIRCASE (whatup my lanyard heads)
one time i just want to stare straight at the cockmonster for the 20 feet and be like:
"HEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEY!!" until i pass his ass
the facade that we put on to appear distracted is always fun...
"Okay, Evan, Jared Feldberg in twenty paces... don't look in the eyes...that's a nice squirrel kind of underrated woodland creature DON'T FUCKING LOOK AT HIM...ahhh cell phone let's see who has texted me..nope noone, oh that's fi-DON'T LOOK UP YET!!! What was for homework, did Iverson get trade-"
"You know, I don't even think he said anything..I was the submissive...alright forget class time for ritual seppuku suicide"
it's the worst.........besides leukemia.