I ran into a girl who I haven't seen for several weeks, and since she isn't the type to update her Facebook status every five minutes ( Jessica is...
TAKING A HUGE SHIT!!)
I approached her and said,
"Hey Jessica, what have you been up to?"
She replied with some innocuous answer about long hours at work. Courteously, she then followed up with a
"And what have you been up to, I bet you've been busy"
I smiled at the idea of me actually having a schedule outside Wikipedia-ing Sopranos episodes for deeper meanings, and replied:
" Oh, Jessica, sooo much y'know ........a lot of- *I proceed to make the "Jerking Off" hand motion, my fingers curled around my imaginary shaft, my wrist and forearm stiff and I begin to pump away at the elbow like I was charging up an invisible Super-Soaker*
She stares at me blankly for 2 seconds
"You've been shooting dice?"
"Um...No..Jess."
"Oh...I don't get it.."
I walk away. Guess I won't be seeing her for another long stretch of time.
