So I moved into the NYU dorms today.
Normally I am not in the city unless I'm buying 7 dollar Voss waters at fancy nightclubs, so I decided to take it all in with my friend Drew.
We went to Union Square (for non-NYers, all eight of you, its the park where the guy gets a skateboard cracked across his skull in KIDS), got some tasty treats from the Mr. Softee Truck, and proceeded to people watch.
The following event occurred:
A homeless man in a tattered Patrick Ewing jersey approaches us
he pulls a cardboard sign out of his pants that reads
I'M JUST SEXY
I nod, attempting to resume my conversation with Drew. The homeless man flashes a grin, revealing about four jagged teeth the color of caramel popcorn.
He then proceeds to display another a sign under his first, that reads:
AND BRAD PITT IS A JACKASS
He outstretches his hand, fingers crooked in opposing directions, nails blackened by non cosmetic means.
I take a deep breath and say
"Alright..not bad..not bad"
I hand the man a dollar. He nods and proceeds to initiate a conversation with a neighboring bulldog taking a bath in the sprinklers.