So today I'm leaving the gym, which is located in Merrick Park (Non-Miami people: think the Americana Manhasset plus Latin men in open shirts doing the shopping instead of Asians)
and I see an old man standing perfectly still. He was your classic South Florida senior:
1. Thick Brimmed Glasses
2. Khaki Shorts pulled up his pectorals
3. Obscurely-branded white sneakers with high dress socks
Because I see an elderly man not moving, I naturally assumed he was having a stroke/heart attack/ cancer fight so I ran over to check his status
Me: What's wrong??
Old Man: shh...
I notice he is staring at two brightly colored birds, nuzzling each-other with their beaks in a loving manner, they almost appear to be kissing
Me: wow... you don't see that too often
Old Man: that's right..sometimes you have to stop and appreciate a little love in the world. it's certainly better than watching the stock market
Me: I'll say.
A shapely young woman walks by quickly, her high heels click-clocking as she walks
Old Man: Don't disturb the two lovers *he smiles at the young woman*
She glances at us and continues her Nazi march to Gucci
Old Man: What a fucking cuntbag
Me: Yeah..fuck that bitch.
"Choppers in the trunk will make you do the macarena"
Translation: "Essentially, my collection of AK-47 machine guns, which are located conveniently in the trunk of my luxury automobile, are so powerful, that they will leave you with multiple bullet holes, causing you to cover them up in disbelief, slapping wildly, and your frantic hand movements will appear similar to the late '90s dance craze, known as the Macarena"
genius. rap genius.