I've been going through a little drama lately. some bullshit. So I apologize for the lack of legitimate posts..so here it goes:
LET MY PREFACE THIS BY SAYING MY DAD IS THE BEST PERSON IN THE WORLD AND EVERYTHING IN LIFE I OWE TO HIM...INCLUDING MINUSCULE GENITALIA
OKAY: BOCA RATON, FLORDIA 2001
Mizner Park is a shopping center located in close proximity to the Boca Beach Hotel: a colony of Long Island where rich Jews flock to in cold winter months, and many a first 2nd base is reached throughout its massive gardens and stucco corridors (in fact my first kiss with schmoodle was there) FUCK...okay so in Mizner Park (think Merrick Park or Americana Manhasset or Rodeo Drive or Auschwitz) there is an ice cream spot called Sloan's
Now Sloan's has a very interesting bathroom, you walk through a glass, see-thru door. you press a button and a layer of opaque class comes down, giving you privacy to take the shit in an ice cream store you've always wanted. So in my backwards upsidedown visor and braces, I gave it a shot.
I leave and tell my dad of the wondrous restroom I have just encountered.
He walks off
minutes later I notice everyone in the ice cream parlor is facing the bathroom, gasping and talking in whispers..
MY DAD IS URINATING IN THE TOILET, THE GLASS COMPLETELY CLEAR, HIS COCK AND BALLS EXPOSED TO EVERYONE.
HE DIDN'T PRESS THE FUCKING BUTTON, THAT CLUELESS BASTARD.
and this wasn't a regular piss, this was LENGTHILY, POWERFUL, WATERFALL OF URINE THAT SEEMED TO LAST HOURS.
He zipped up, and walked out, almost pleased at his accomplishment
"Hey Evan, I didn't see anything that great about that bathroom"
I did what any respectful son did.
I JUMPED UP AND CRACKED HIM IN THE FACE
I mean I'm sorry, it was HORRIBLE, half of my social circle just witnessed my Dad's penis full steam ahead in an ice cream parlor...girls I liked, guys I wanted to be friends with, just, ugh it fucking sucked
after shouting expletives at him in public behind gritted teeth, we rode home to Palm Beach in silence.
We still talk bout it to this day, and honestly, it really was fuckin awesome.
For the record, I haven't been back since, and my Dad is on to bigger and better things. I hear he's taking a shit on the table at Mr. Chow.