I've got some famous friends, such as Jay Liebs, star basketball player on the world renowned Princeton Junior Varsity squad...Alright, kid's a Roslyn legend. Hands like meathooks
Jay has a boy who has a boy who has a brother (you know how Jewish Geography goes) who goes to The University of Tampa
Now apparently at Tampa (any students wanna give me more info, please) a popular stunt is to go to the docks at night and do what any self-respecting student would:
FUCK WITH LIVE ANIMALS
So,at night, they go down to the docks (I don't fucking know, Tampa Bay??) and approach sleeping manatee.
Manatee sleep, floating atop the water. they jump off the dock
AND LAND ATOP THE MANATEE, RIDING THEM THROUGH THE WATER
I know. I fucking know
So, one time, a group FRAT BOYZZZ decide to ride the manatees and they jump in the water, One kid goes for it, lets out a "WHOOOOO!" and goes
INTO THE MANATEE! IT WAS A DECOMPOSING, ROTTING CARCASS, AND HE JUMPED STRAIGHT INTO IT
THERE, HE IS, STRUGGLING TO CRAWL OUT OF THE ROTTING SEACOW, SUBMERGED IN IT'S INNARDS
he proceeds to SCREAM AND THROW UP EVERYWHERE
So let this be a lesson
DON'T JUMP ONTO SLEEPING MANATEES, BECAUSE ONE MIGHT BE A ROTTING CARCASS AND YOU'LL BE WAIST DEEP IN DEAD ANIMAL BODY!